'The Story of Beauty' - #METOO Pt. 1



First let me begin by saying that I while I am a victim, I WILL NOT be victimized, and thus am in no position to receive pity. I have always lived my life privately. 

Second, let me apologize; not for what I am about to say, but for the timing of what I am about to say. I wish I had been stronger, wiser, and less selfish sooner. Many of us have a story of abuse. Here's mine.... 

When I was much younger than I am now, my step-father sexually abused me. Not once. Not twice. But enough times for me, at around 12 years old, to have to think about my sexuality and sexualization sooner than I'd thought a girl of my age needed to. 

(I will not be victimized.)

At some point I told my mother, and their marriage eventually fell apart. But that wasn't before my abuser made it out to seem as though I had imagined it, or made it up, had or somehow misunderstood his hands in places where they should not have been. 

This man, whom I trusted to protect me as my surrogate father, took innocence from me, that at such that young age I didn't recognize the importance of, nor did I know how to fight for it. 

I'll admit that I knew something was wrong at the time, but I was afraid of the consequences of coming forward and holding him accountable for his actions. It wasn't until I was much older, that I found out that many other women in my community had suffered at the hand of his abusive behaviour. #METOO

Let me make this clear, the victim is NOT to be shamed, nor blamed. It is NEVER your fault.

(I will not be victimized.)

I have since grown up. I have seen therapists, and have I dealt with my abuse in such a way that I am completely okay to speak about it, (although I am still a terribly private person.... I'm pretty sure my bestie doesn't even know my real last name! Lol). Any way, that's the short of it. But the lasting part of it is this....

Dear men, my body is mine. Please do not misunderstand that. If you forget, or you have been misguided, you will be reminded. Please do not sexualize me at your leisure. 

Dear women, your body is yours. Don't be afraid to express something that you feel is not right when it comes to your body. Don't worry about "getting him/her in trouble". Don't worry about being ostracized or victimized. 

(We will not be victimized.)

Those who choose to ostracize and victimize you for telling your truth are the weak ones; not you. Remember that. You are greater than your situation. You can make it out. You are not alone! 

PS. I still have family members who choose not to accept my story... stay strong. You are not alone. 

I stand in solidarity with all women, little and grown, as we deal with these issues on a lifelong basis.