'Freakum Dress' - Unlocking First Date Anxieties

 
 

So you've finally given into their exhaustive thwarts and you're ready to set plans. 

Cue the anxiety. What to wear? Should I do that juice cleanse now? Is there enough time to lose those 10 pounds that I've been trying to lose for the past 10 years? What about hair? Makeup? New dress? Should I even wear a dress? Shave? Wait. No. I'm not Sally McSluttykins...Where should we go? Is it up to me to choose? Should we meet there? Do I suggest he pick me up??

First dates with someone new are always special to me. I'm unapologetically, and hopelessly romantic. As I get older, I'm starting to dilute the stigmas attached to first dates. I'm ready for cool new experiences. "Dinner and a movie" just doesn't excite me anymore. But, first dates seem to be a breeding ground for temporary anxiety syndrome. Here are my 3 top tips I like to suggest when preparing for one:

1. CHILL OUT. Keep an open mind. Don't put too much pressure on your date. You aren't going to find out about their whole life in one night. That is not a fair expectation. 

A fair expectation for your date is that they're likely going to have a few anxieties of their own for the night. Those expectations could manifest themselves into your date forgetting to open the door for you, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, going through the door first and letting it hit you in the face (it's happened....), etc. 

So just laugh. Enjoy your night. Don't expect perfection. Have a good time, and if it ends up being a horrible date, you'll have a fun story for the books. 

2. SHOWER BEFORE YOU GO. Honest. Do this, not only because you want to be fresh for your date, but because showering before you leave will actually just relax you. This may mean that you won't choose to have your first date immediately after a long day at work which is probably a good idea anyway. You will appreciate being able to go home and detox before heading out again. 

3. WEAR SOMETHING COMFORTABLE. Make sure you wear something you're 100% comfortable in. Take time, change as many times as you need to. Trust me, this is crucial. There is a direct correlation to what you wear, and how you feel and behave.  

I'm a former Theatre major. For one of my finals I had to deliver a really difficult monologue. I'd rehearsed for weeks and finally the day of the performance arrived. I had purchased a new costume. It looked amazing, but I felt "off". I wasn't sure about it anymore, but I decided to wear it anyway. Six lines into my performance I was tanking so my professor stopped me. She told me to put back on my rehearsal clothes and do it again. 

I nailed it. 

Point? When you aren't comfortable in what's on your skin, you'll focus on that instead of focusing on something else that maybe deserves more attention; like your super-hot date. 

4. HAVE AN OUT.  The scheduled-bestie-phone-call, the family emergency, or just saying that you have to to leave. Whatever the "out" is, prepare one. You'll feel a sense of security knowing that you aren't trapped. Sounds terrible? Maybe, but have one anyway. If the date starts going belly-up, and there really is no hope, you shouldn't have to endure it. 

Happy first-dating.

 

 

Xxxo,

-s